I hope to save the public some money by giving a review of the film, What Lies Beneath. According to a local newspaper male movie critic, he couldn't find enough adjectives to give this a four star rating. He also wrote that Michelle Pfeiffer should be nominated for an academy award. He tried to say it was a suspense film in the nature of Alfred Hitchcock (probably after Hitchcock died). You should thank God he's not your stock broker advising you how to invest your money. He's a new soul, so we have to forgive him. He'd probably think a movie about Smokey and Gentle Ben getting married was exciting. As a matter of fact, he thought that X-Men was slow and boring. Can you figure that one out?
Anyway, Michelle Pfeiffer didn't have much of a script to act with, neither did Harrison Ford. I found it strange that Harrison Ford even took such a role; I guess he needs the money. He came off as his usual lovable self throughout the film except at the end and then you were supposed to believe that he was the bad guy. Even when you knew he was the bad guy, you just couldn't believe it–he was just too nice. And the ghost, well, I've been more scared of Halloween trick-or-treaters. It got a little exciting at the end, that is, if you could get through the snores of the people who were falling asleep halfway through the movie. As for special effects, my little two-year-old could do better. So, public, save your money and pray that Harrison Ford gets his finances straight.
~Gabriel of Urantia*MPAA = Motion Picture Association of America
